The Puffer Fish

“Come at 9 o’clock on Friday.” Mila texted to Judy on Monday. She had arranged a party to celebrate her birthday after being away for six months in India.

Mila and Judy met four years earlier when they were at university studying English Literature. Whereas Mila had always been extravagant, friendly and loud, Judy was more of a loner often hiding behind a book with classical music in her ears, but despite their differences they became close friends. They would meet up to discuss Art, Literature, Music and from time to time Mila would drag Judy to a party where she would eventually get stoned or drunk. Although Mila had never been the “ring at 24 and kids at 27” kind of girl, she dated Christopher, a drama student from the same university, for a couple of years before she decided to break up with him to go to India, where she eventually lost touch with Judy for the time being. As a matter of fact, Mila’s birthday was to be the first time they were going to see each other since then.
I can always say I felt sick and turn away- Judy thought while shivering in the cold. No I can’t and I’m already here. But how am I going to look at her, after what has happened? Ok, let’s just hope everything goes well. She took off her gloves, put on a smile and rang the doorbell. Mila opened the door and there she was, standing with pink, curly hair and a big top hat. She threw her arms at Judy and hugged her tightly.
“Hiiiiii! I’m so happy you came! It’s good to see you!”
“You too Mila, happy birthday!”
“Oh, thank you love. Come on in.”
Elbowing her way through the wall of people, Judy managed to enter the big noisy living room that she had seen many times before. There was the usual mess. The kitchen was full of dirty dishes from days ago and the rubbish bin overloaded. There were about six bikes thrown on the side of the room and an old Vespa that people were using as a chair. The centre table was set with all sorts of food and drinks. Chicken curry with rice, what looked like a Polish stew, a few bowls of salads and a variety of snacks. Bottles of wine, beers and spirits were spread everywhere and some of them were already empty. Music from the 70’s was playing in the background and a mixed smell of cigarettes and spices filled the air. The big screen projector was on showing some kind of art video.
“Give me your coat, I’ll leave it in my room.”
While waiting she noticed that there were a couple of new additions to the house, two stuffed birds hanging from the ceiling and a fish tank. The aquarium was beautifully decorated with shells, rocks, pieces of wood and plants. Staring at her, or so it seemed to Judy, was this peculiar looking creature. Pale and delicate with two big eyes and tiny fins, the little fish reminded her of a character from her old Dr Seuss books. Suddenly it blew up.
Oh…I didn’t see that coming! It’s a Puffer Fish then!
While Judy was looking at the tank a dog came wobbling towards her.
“And who’s this cutie?” she asked Mila while bending to pet the wagging bundle of fur.
“This is Bossie. It’s Freddie’s dog, he found him when he was in Poland for a short course the last time he went.” she answered.
“How’s Freddie?”
“He’s great! Leaving again! You know him, always on the move. He should be in his room packing to go to Paris.”
“Oh wow! What is he going to do there?”
“I think he is teaching something in a university, I don’t know much…”
“Your house is full of pets now, stuffed birds, a dog, fish…by the way, is the Puffer Fish yours? I know that many come from India.”
“Yeah I bought one after I came back.”
“You know they are poisonous, don’t you?”
“Sure but I don’t care, I like it the way it is.”
“Right…”
“Hey, do you want something to drink? As you can see there’s plenty.”
“Wine would be great, thanks.”
“Perfect! I’ll grab some and come right back so we can update each other on everything!” Mila said disappearing in the crowd.
Apart from Mila’s flatmates and few friends that Judy knew, the other guests were strangers to her, by their designer or vintage clothes, she concluded that they probably belonged to the art or theatre world.
Oh God, he’s here! Judy thought while looking at the group of hipsters sitting on the sofa. Christopher was chatting lively with someone when he saw Judy. He did not smile, he did not wave, he only gave her a cold glimpse and so did she.
The noisy room became noisier, the space tighter and the air felt heavy. Judy slumped down into an old armchair. Why is he here? What should I do now? I could ignore him but then Mila might get suspicious and I don’t want to ruin her party. I can’t pretend though that nothing has ever happened! This is so awkward! Mila came back interrupting Judy’s thoughts with a glass of wine in one hand while dragging a chair with the other and began to tell her all about the fantastic journey across India. Despite Judy’s most sincere interest and best effort to hear what her friend had to say, she couldn’t help but thinking about Christopher.
Chris was the kind of guy that people would turn to look at when walking down the street. He was a performer, he loved being the centre of attention and wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. Often out partying or attending cultural events, he would still find time to be with his family, taking mom to church on a Sunday or his little brother to the playground. When Mila and Christopher were together they used to spend most of the time alone, as Mila liked to keep friends and love life separated. Judy never got to know her friend’s lover well and when she left him, Judy was never meant to see him again.
This party is not going to end up well, she thought anxiously while gulping down her wine. I mean, look at him, how can he just sit there and chat peacefully with that dude while Mila and I are in the same room? Damn his confidence! He is so arrogant!
“Judy are you ok?”
“Yes! Sorry. Carry on.”
Ok, Judy try to stay calm!
“Alright so I was having breakfast in the garden when all of the sudden a monkey showed up. It was big and hungry!”
“Oh dear and what did you do then?”
“Well I made the thing leave by shouting and waving my arms like a crazy person and it ran off but with my cereals!”
Mila then stood up and acted out the scene gaining her guest’s attention. They all laughed while Judy just smiled.
“You handled it pretty well considering the situation,” she said.
“Thanks…Although in India this is quite common, unfortunately! They even jump down trees to steal food from your backpack! Anyway lets talk about you now! Tell me, how’s everything going?”
“Yeah it’s all good, working at the library, doing research for my writing…the usual”.
“So are you still working on your book?”
“Yes although it leaves me with really little time for myself, in fact tonight is the first one I spend out in the past two months!”
“Seriously? Oh come on Judy, you must have some social life!”
“Yeah like you?”
“Yes like me, why not? I do understand that you’ve got to study a lot but sometimes you should give yourself a break.”
“I know but writing is so important for me. It’s fulfilling and quite frankly, that’s what counts.”
“I’m not minimising your passion but we’re young, go out a bit, date somebody! Enjoy life!”
“Well, travelling has always been your thing, mine is writing, researching, ever since I was a kid. I don’t mind spending hours over books in dusty libraries but I have a feeling you kind of disapprove my life style.”
“Well books don’t provide any life experience, you must go out and explore the world and I’m sure you might also have more interesting topics for your writing.”
“I’ll explore the world another time.”
“Why you are so defensive? I didn’t want to sound like a preacher, I was just trying to cheer you up because you seemed a bit dismal since you got here.”
“Well it doesn’t sound like that. I’m pursuing my passion so you should just be happy for me!”
“Alright! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Mmm don’t worry.” Judy stood up nervously “Anyway I’m here, I’m giving myself a break as you suggested so lets grab some more wine, shall we?”
“Yes, I think that’s a great idea!”
It was way past midnight and many people were drunk. Spliffs were going around just like glasses of wine and cans of beer, the floor was getting dirtier and stickier. Mila and Christopher weren’t to be seen anywhere and Judy quite tipsy, was staring at a group of guys while listening to their conversation.
Have you seen the last Saatchi … I manage to get into that programme…So I was standing there when suddenly…the movie was great…Such a shame you can’t come this summer…yes I loved the exhibition, very interesting collection…well I’m sure you’ll learn so much… the rain came down but I couldn’t feel it, it was like…I disagree with you, I found the my main actor not so believable…I know but we can go up to Wales for a longer weekend.
Blah, blah, blah…I need more wine!
Judy was checking the emptiness of some bottles when four people approached the table.
I tried some stuff that was fuckin’ good man!…Hey do you know that they went back together… the rave was just crazy…yeah he is such a sweet guy… you should have come man, good stuff…I think they are perfect for each other.
I wonder who went back with whom? I can’t see Chris, maybe he has left. I hope he is gone so I don’t need to see his face anymore!
Judy was walking towards the garden when a bedroom door opened.
“Hi Judy! Good to see you!”
“Oh hi Freddie, I guess you finished packing?”
“Yeah…wait, how do you know I was packing?”
“Mila told me earlier when I had the pleasure to meet your dog. So, when are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow early morning, straight from the party!”
“How convenient… So are you going to teach in Paris?”
“Yes I’ll run a course on how modern society has influenced the theatre of the 20th century.”
“Sounds interesting and tough.”
“Yeah lots of paper work behind but with the help of Chris, I managed to put together quite a programme.”
“Chris? Do you mean Christopher, Mila ex-boyfriend, helped you?”
“Well yes, I’m an expert on modern society but not so much on drama while he is.”
“I see…so you two worked together, right?”
“Yes he came over a few times to help me out with research, why? Is everything ok?”
“Mmmhm yeah just curious and how did you get in touch with him?”
“Mila introduced me to him about 3 weeks ago. Why do you ask?”
“Sorry Fred I was just trying to understand.”
“Understand what?”
“Nothing! Don’t worry!”
“You’re weird. Sure you’re ok?”
“Yes I’m fine but I have to go now.”
“Oh alright, well I’ll be in the crowd, maybe we can talk a bit more later.”
“Right…yeah, sorry I’m just…I’m going.”
“Ok, byeee.”
Feeling confused for what she had just discovered, Judy locked herself in the bathroom in order to collect her thoughts. She was sweating cold and her face was pale. Judy leaned against the wall to calm down, when her attention was caught by a pair of shoes thrown in a corner. Brown Clarks. A shiver crossed her body.

She was meant to go to the library that day but decided to study at the park instead, since it was incredibly warm, unusual by London’s standards as it rains often in the summer. The air smelled of fresh grass and the sun was shining, Judy picked her wide brimmed hat and went for a walk in Richmond Park. After strolling for some time, she discovered what appeared to be a secret garden. She thought it was secret because it was hidden behind a tall hedge and apart from her and an old lady who was feeding some squirrels, no one else was there. Enchanted by the beauty and peace of the place, Judy decided to lay on the grass and read. So immersed in her book, she didn’t notice there was someone standing in front of her.
“Hi!” a male voice said. She peeked between her hat and her book and saw one yellow and one red sock in a pair of quite consumed brown Clarks, she then raised her head and blinded by the strong sunlight, closed her eyes partly in an attempt to see more clearly. With surprise Judy realised that Christopher was right there smiling down at her.

Someone was knocking at the bathroom door.
“Come on! There are people waiting!”
Judy washed her face and stood in front of the mirror.
Was it Fred that invited Chris tonight or Mila after all? Did they get back in touch while she was still in India? If she broke up with him before leaving, how… Ok no I’m sure it was Fred that was just trying to return the favour after Chris helped him. Yes that’s maybe how it went.
At least this is what Judy believed. She dried her hands and left the bathroom.
With luck Judy found a bottle of Vodka hidden at the back of the freezer, grabbed it and a poured some into a mug that now had turned to be the glass replacement for many guests and off she went to the garden for some fresh air.
I wonder where Mila has gone?
Judy had just approached the exit when she noticed her friend’s pink hair popping out from a crowd of winter coats. Standing in a corner not far from Mila, was Christopher smoking a cigarette. Apparently nothing was strange if it wasn’t for the eye contact and smiles that he was having with Mila who was chatting with someone while clearly also flirting with him. Holding her mug tightly Judy observed the scene from the door.
Those looks and smiles are way too interested and sweet for not being flirty.
Mila, now alone, walked towards Christopher, took the cigarette from his lips and put it to hers, smoked and gave it back. She looked at him intensely and then walked away.
His breath on her neck, his strong hands around her waist, the smell of his skin, the bark of the tree against her back. At the thought of it, another shiver crossed her body and the mug full of Vodka crashed on the floor. Judy was speechless, shocked and with even more questions that needed to be answered, although facts were quite clear now.
I tried to hold it in but I can’t anymore, she must know! I’ll probably ruin her party but it wasn’t planned. I’m sure Mila will understand, she has to.
“Hey I need to talk to you,” she said firmly to Mila.
“I was wondering where you have been.”
“It’s important! Can we go to your room please?”
“Are you ok?”
“I just really need to talk to you, can we go please!”
“Ok, ok but calm down! Gosh!”
“Now we are in my room, what have you got to say?”
“I saw you outside with Christopher.”
“Yeah and so?”
“And so? Are you two back together?”
“Mmm we are seeing each other again, why?”
“How long has this thing been going on?”
Mila looked at her friend with a puzzled expression.
“We exchanged emails while I was still travelling and then when I came back we started dating. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to wait until it was a sure thing. You should be happy for me instead you sound angry.”
“Yes I am angry because I don’t understand why you want to go back with him.”
“You’re kidding aren’t you? I had been with him for years and breaking up to go to India was probably the worst mistake I have ever made! He has always been here for me and he told me he suffered a lot when I left him and I did also. I missed him so much when I was abroad!”
“You’re better off without him, trust me!”
“Stop! You can’t understand! You have never had a relationship in your life that lasted more than a couple of months and now you are telling me that I should ditch him? Are you mad? He is probably the love of my life Judy, why should I leave him?”
“Mila, you don’t know him! You don’t know who he really is!”
“Ah! And you do?”
“Yes!”
“Are you telling me that I don’t know the guy I have spent years with? You’re drunk!”
“I am tipsy but not drunk! I know what I’m talking about! I know what’s hiding behind that handsome face!”
“Hiding what Judy? You have been weird for the whole evening. It’s my birthday and the first time we are seeing each other since I left, I was expecting to have fun together enjoying the party but you have been so nervous and snappy at me since you arrived! If you have to tell me something, just spit it out otherwise calm down and let me go back to my guests!”
“I didn’t want you to find it out like this. I meant to tell you one day but when I saw you with him I couldn’t keep it in anymore!”
“Then tell me for god’s sake! Did you sleep with him? Is this what you are trying to say?”
“No! I could never!”
“Ok, then what happened?”
“It was 4 months ago, I was reading in what looked like some sort of secret garden of Richmond Park, when all of the sudden Christopher showed up. I hadn’t seen him since you two broke up. I was really surprised but I should also admit a bit suspicious, I was in a quite hidden place after all, how did he find me? But I didn’t want to be paranoid so I just didn’t say anything. Anyway, we left the garden and went for a walk until he suggested to sit on a bench that I thought was a little secluded. By then I was feeling rather uneasy. We were talking about you two, when unexpectedly, he asked me about my love life, if I was dating anybody and then he started to use foul language while getting way too close to me. At this point I really felt uncomfortable so I jumped up and tried to run away but that bastard grabbed me from behind and pinned me against a tree. He unzipped my pants and I screamed for help but unfortunately there was nobody around until when, fortunately, a family passed by so he stopped and I managed to escape…He is disgusting! He is sick!” Judy gasped out.
“Stop! Shut up! This is bullshit! You are crazy! I don’t know why I’m listening to you. I know Chris, he was my boyfriend for a long time, he is eccentric but I like him the way he is! I remember the way you used to look at him, you always liked him, isn’t it? You are so jealous that you even needed to make up this story! What did you do? Did you try to get into his pants and he refused you, uh?”
“Mila, no! Why don’t you believe me? I could never do anything like that to you! You are my best friend!”
“If it is true why didn’t you tell me straight away, then?”
“Because I was ashamed! You were in India and it’s not something you say by email!”
“Why didn’t you tell me when I got back?”
“I…”
“I what? If it is so important, you…”
“It is but I thought that since he was out of your life and mine, I could have waited until the right time had come since it was such a hard thing to disclose, then I saw him here I freaked out! When I understood what was going on, I felt I had to warn you as soon as possible.”
“By accusing Christopher of abuse?”
“Of course! I mean, he tried but thank God I escaped!”
“Nobody can prove this Judy!”
“I’m your best friend, you should just trust me! I’m confessing you something terrible that happened to me that involves your ex-boyfriend and you need evidence? You need proof? This is crazy!”
“No! You are! Do you hear what you’re saying? Chris would never abuse anyone and definitely not of you! Everyone loves him and so do I! You have a really sick imagination! After so many years immersed in your books, I’m not surprised! It’s just a shame that your passion is costing you your sanity! I always thought you were a bit of a sociopath but with this story, you are way beyond control! I would like you to leave my house. I can’t have you here anymore. I’m done! We are done!”
Mila opened the door and left. Judy stood there completely overwhelmed, her heart was beating fast and tears began to flow.
How could she not believe me? How can Mila be so blind? She chose him over me after what I told her? How could she do that? I don’t understand… she wants me to go, then I will but for good!
Shocked, angry and disappointed, Judy grabbed her coat and went to the living room to pick up her bag that had been left under a pile of jackets behind the fish tank. Ready to leave, she opened the door and turned to give one last glance at the house that she was never going to see again and there they were hugging each other. With Mila in his arms, Christopher looked at Judy with an impudent grin and waved her goodbye.